Carol Mahna and Matt Whitworth in their Montreal home. The couple moved from London, U.K., in August 2024.Karene-Isabelle Jean-Baptiste/The Globe and Mail
In this series, Sliding Doors, we explore real-life crossroads that shape personal ambition: Take the leap or play it safe? Move forward or pivot? We talk to real people facing real-life decisions and speak to experts about the ambition and intuition behind these kinds of choices.
Matt Whitworth and his wife, Carol Mahna, loved living in London, U.K., but knew they wouldn’t stay forever. He grew up in Singapore and she hails from Egypt; they were both educated in London and started their careers there, but it never felt like their hometown.
“Both of us are not somewhere people, we’re anywhere people,” Mr. Whitworth says.
London also had a few downsides, he adds. “London is too big a city. It’s nice to have all these restaurants and things, but you’ll never be able to visit all of them.” Other downsides include the cost of living and the fact that friends and work can be a 45-minute tube ride away.
Craving a new home base, the couple scanned the globe for an affordable, walkable city where they’d be able to work in English – he as a software developer with his own company and she in marketing. Picking up a new language would be a perk.
“Montreal happened to combine all of these things,” says Mr. Whitworth, whose mother grew up in Ontario while Ms. Mahna has relatives in the area.
Last August, the couple moved into an apartment in the Plateau area of the city. At the six-month mark, they are still enjoying their new home and new friends. “Montreal is such a laid-back city,” he says. The couple’s careers are flourishing too – Mr. Whitworth, who is self-employed, has found new connections and opportunities in the city while Ms. Mahna got a job after a few months.
Not everyone packing their bags for a permanent move to a new city, country or continent is so confident. It’s one of those big life decisions that, while you can always go back – literally – the stakes are high.
About four million Canadians live abroad, while more than 400,000 people come to Canada annually as permanent residents. People move around the country all the time, too: in the five years before 2022, 35 per cent of all households in Canada relocated. Here’s what to consider when plotting a big move.
Make sure you’re ready for change
Having spent 16 years in six countries with her husband and kids before returning to Toronto in 2018, Susan Hodges knows moving. She now runs New Roots Relocation in Toronto and helps families plan moves and settle in.
“One of the really important things to ask yourself is, are you truly ready to be away from friends and family?” she says. That’s the starting point for any decision to move, she adds. “This [often] depends on how far you’re relocating. If you’re moving to Calgary, it might be a little bit different than if you’re moving to Thailand.”
Prospective movers should be comfortable in new situations and not mind an adjustment period. “It can be pretty isolating for the first while, until you meet people and start to build a friend network,” says Ms. Hodges.
If you’re a shy or introverted person, it could be rough. “You really have to put yourself out there.” Couples should understand their relationship can be tested by the transition. Everyone – kids included – should have buy-in and be ready to work together to make a new life work.
On the practical side, she suggests doing careful math on the cost of moving and either shipping your stuff or buying new things. Even if you move for a job, some companies won’t cover all your costs.
It’s also important to make your own decisions, rather than listen to the opinions of others. Mr. Whitworth says people told them that Montreal would be horribly cold, expensive and unfriendly.
“None of that has come to bear,” he says. “It’s easy to be put off by these perceived drawbacks. When you go, you find it’s a totally different experience.”
Make a plan, but prepare for the unexpected
Mr. Whitworth says he and his wife had been to Canada in the past, plus took additional trips closer to their move. But he wishes they’d done more apartment hunting while in London through video calls and house tours.
Ms. Hodges suggests making rough plans for scenarios, such as what to do if a family member back home gets sick. Her own prep work, years ago, included how to navigate the health-care system in Japan, as she had her second child while there.
Once you’ve moved, it’s time to get settled in at work and school and make some friends. Ms. Hodges suggests those coming to Canada join a newcomers’ club, where you can often meet up with people from your own cultural background, while Canadian expats can find a Canadian club just about everywhere in the world.
Leave the ‘what-ifs’ in the past
Ms. Hodges notes that anyone setting up a new home must commit to it – don’t focus on your old home and the social circle you left behind. “You can’t have a foot in two places,” she says.
You can never know how it would have turned out had you decided to stay put, she adds.
“You [may] miss out on a simpler life of staying home, but you’ll get all these enriching experiences,” in a new place.
One thing is for sure – those who take the risk of packing up for a new life abroad will be changed forever, says Ms. Hodges, even if they move back home after a few years.
“You sort of become this new being,” says Ms. Hodges. “You’re just a different person after the experience.”
