Six Canadians share how they’re commemorating a loved one who has passed away | Canada Voices

After losing a loved one, finding ways to remember them can be essential to the journey of processing grief.

For some, that can look like meeting with friends and family once a year to share memories of those who have passed, for others, it means looking for ways to keep their spirit present in everyday life.

We asked Globe readers to share the creative ways they have honoured or celebrated someone after they passed away. From planting flowers to running a marathon, here’s what you said.

Letting memories bloom

My mom was just shy of her 84th birthday when she passed. My heart broke. She had been a friend, as well as a mom. She had specifically requested nothing be done, which left me without an emotional space to remember our many years of laughter and memories. As I attended to her estate and did all that business stuff that comes with end of life, I wanted to find a way to remember her for myself. I wanted to mark her existence. Her birthday is in March. She passed in November. Her favourite flower was the daffodil.

On the one-year anniversary of her death, my three closest friends joined me as we planted 84 daffodil bulbs along the ravine behind her home, up the road from where I live. Then, when the weather warms, I visit these flowers. When they are in full bloom, I make a cup of tea and go sit among them and tell her about my year. Seeing their yellow faces makes me smile and reminds me that she did once walk this life with me. – Claire Peters, Brampton, Ont.

Huddle up

When Ottawa artist Mary Dodge passed away at 86, we organized a get-together with far-flung family members – children, nieces, nephews, grandkids, as well as spouses. A big highlight was the Mary Dodge Olympics, consisting of many silly athletic endeavours, such as a water balloon race, egg toss and blindfolded badminton.

Each team selected a name that connected to Mary’s life, such as the “Five O’Clock Martinis” and the “Nottawasaurus” (named after a Georgian Bay driftwood log that she beautifully painted to resemble a serpent).

Throughout the two-day event and afterward, family members shared stories and memories of their cherished grandma, aunt and mom. Not only was it a fantastic way to remember Mary’s energetic and artistic spirit, but it also brought the family even closer together. – Peter Dodge, Toronto

A potluck to remember

We celebrated my mom’s 88th birthday, five months after her death, by having a potluck lunch.

My husband and I hosted the event to honour my mom, Joyce Linke, by serving the foods that she used to make. While paying tribute to her, we wanted to foster fun memories of growing up in a large family in the 1960s and 70s, where eating dinner together was an important tradition.

Through the family WhatsApp chat, we requested each sister and brother to share the foods that they remembered and enjoyed the most. Many memories were shared of foods loved, and also those that we did not want to eat again. Jell-O was a definite no!

We landed on meat loaf, sausage and rice casserole, fish and chips, onion dip with Ruffles potato chips, and rice pudding for dessert – dishes that are not often eaten by any of us today.

This menu evoked wonderful, shared memories of our mom and childhood. While there were sad moments, there was lots of laughter and fun. Perhaps a new family tradition has been born. – Sandy Linke, Richmond Hill, Ont.

In defence of Mom’s bad casserole

Stitched together

I have started an embroidery project containing symbols of the people and pets that I have loved and lost. Each symbol has a special meaning for me.

So far, I have embroidered a sun for my Grandma Sunny, two forget-me-nots for dogs who recently passed, and am in the midst of stitching a Tudor rose for an old friend that I lost many years ago. I am working on a design involving water that symbolizes my beloved stepfather. Dragonflies and other symbols, which according to folklore mean a loved one is visiting, will also be included. I plan to create a small bag so that I can carry their memories with me. – Karen Jones, Dunedin, New Zealand

Sharing a treat

I grew up on Canada’s West Coast, and as a child, my father and I used to always share a KitKat bar while taking in the frigid views. Since his death 20 years ago, I often take my 60-year-old self to his gravesite, sit down, open up a KitKat and put one piece down on his grave marker and eat another. I still feel the moment together, and savour the flavours that send me back to how it felt to be in his presence.

It is the only time I enjoy that chocolate bar. I am sure the squirrels await my visit and I always smile at the thought as I walk away. – Susy Baranszky-Job, Tsawwassen, B.C.

Going the distance

Our daughter Kristen Marie passed suddenly in her 33rd year while training for an ultramarathon. She was a nature and yoga enthusiast who loved to hike and run the Bruce Trail on her days off from nursing, and was more than 50 per cent finished when she passed.

To honour her, both my husband and I decided to complete the Bruce Trail from the southern terminus to the north. Our end-to-end journey began in 2022, just a month after her death, and we are now just 80 kilometres away from finishing. It’s been a beautiful journey and has brought us both moments of joy and peace toward our healing. Additionally, we took on her audacious goal of completing her ultratrail race at the Quebec Mega Trail 25-km, 32-km and 50-km distances.

We know she would be proud of us for attempting these things at our age. In doing so, we have found such gratitude in the activities that she loved, and have grown out of our comfort zones, too.

Her love of yoga inspired me to take a 200-hour teaching program and now I deliver classes to older adults and volunteer in hospice to share these gifts. – Deborah Bugeja, Oro-Medonte, Ont.

These submissions have been edited and condensed.