The back-to-school rituals that help these families calm first-day jitters | Canada Voices

This week, Libby Barnicke and her family will engage in what has become, for them, an important tradition. She’ll dress up her two boys in their crisp new school uniforms and line them up on the front porch for their annual back-to-school photo.

It’s a tradition that is replicated in households from coast to coast. For many families, these early weeks of September are a major occasion. The end of summer, and the start of a new year.

“I always view September as the new year. Not January first,” said Ms. Barnicke, who lives in Toronto. “It feels like the beginning. Like a renewal. It’s excitement, but also a lot of anxiousness.”

It’s a month that brings new milestones in many families. The start of a new routine, or adventure, or challenge. A new step toward independence. For many, it will be their first day in a new place.

The Globe and Mail spoke with four families experiencing “first days” this week. Here’s what they told us about how they feel, and how they’re preparing:

First day of kindergarten: Aadhya Trivedi, 4 years old

Aadhya is a chatty preschooler who lives in Toronto with her family. She knows how to spell her own name, and how to count to four fingers when asked her age. She likes rainbow-coloured tutus, chapatis with curried vegetables and reading books with her mom. When she grows up, she plans on being a doctor and also a princess.

What she’s most excited about

Aadhya’s older brother already attends the school where she’s headed, so he’s given her some ideas on what to expect.

“Kindergarten,” she said, “is where you help your teachers. Cleaning. Putting books away. Sitting in the circle.”

She’s most excited to see the school library, which her brother has described in great detail. She can’t wait to pick out her own books and bring them home.

What she’s worried about

Aadhya will miss the comforts of daycare. “The teachers love me a lot. I love my teachers a lot.”

She’ll miss her daycare friends, too. “I love my friends,” she said. “We hug with each other and hold each other’s hands.”

She’ll be parting ways with almost all of them. Most are heading off to a different school, so she’ll have to make new friends. When asked if this makes her nervous, she gives the tiniest nod.

“The new friends might hate me, and might not love me,” she said. “They might not want to be best friends with me.”

How the family is preparing

“She’s already been in the daycare setting, so the routine is kind of the same,” said her mom, Sonali. They’ve been working as a family to drill the importance of that morning routine in to their children: Of waking up by a specific time and leaving plenty of room each morning to get ready and out the door without feeling rushed.

Beyond that, Sonali said she’s been focused on preparing Aadhya for the practical challenges of kindergarten such as how to get through a full day without an afternoon nap, how to recognize her own name at her cubby and how to tell the difference between her stuff and all the other kids’, which often look similar.

Aadhya is also practicing how to open and close her own lunch bag and food containers. It’ll be her first time bringing lunch from home, and she’ll have to figure out how to navigate that. “It’s all about keeping things simple and accessible,” said Sonali.

First day rituals

Each year, Sonali asks family and friends to send in short video messages for the kids with their well-wishes for the new school year. She compiles all of them into a larger video that the family watches the night before school. They make popcorn, settle into the couch and make a night of it.

“It’s a tradition that we all look forward to,” Sonali said.

The transition from summer to a new school year is always an anxious, nerve-wracking time. “And, honestly not just for the kids,” she said.

“It’s emotional for the parents too – seeing your babies going out into the world.”

First day of middle school: Taylor, 12

Until recently, Taylor attended a co-ed, public Catholic school in Toronto, where he lives with his family. But this week he is moving to an all-boys, private middle school that is connected to a high school. So he’ll be sharing the halls for the first time with kids who are much older, ranging from Grade 7 all the way up to Grade 12.

What he’s most excited about

Taylor is an athlete who plays soccer, football and hockey. “Any sport, basically.” So he’s looking forward to the new sports and activities available.

“It’s a lot bigger than my [former] school, so there’s lots of different types of activities and clubs,” he said. “It’s just a totally different environment.”

He’s also looking forward to the fact that he’ll be joined by many of his existing friends who are moving to the new school alongside him.

What he’s most worried about

“Probably the exams.” The curriculum in middle school, he expects, will be much more intense.

How they’re preparing

This week will represent a big step into independence for Taylor, said his mom Libby. Instead of getting dropped off and picked up by his parents each day, he’ll be responsible for getting himself to and from school.

For the first time, Taylor will have to navigate public transit on his own. He’ll also have to figure out where to buy his snacks after school, and how to pay for them. The family is having to discuss, for the first time, questions such as whether he’s ready for a debit card or a cellphone.

“It’s a change in tide,” said Libby. “We’re having meaningful conversations about what the new routine is going to look like – early adult conversations, I would say.”

Back to school rituals

This will be the seventh year that Libby has lined up her boys for their back-to-school photo (they missed one year because of the pandemic). “It’s just always been a marker for me to show the progress – to show just how big they’re getting.”

Still, beyond the anxiety and the nerves, she said, there’s a lot of excitement.

“I think there’s something very joyful about coming of age, and moving on,” she said. “I just can’t wait to see what he does with this next chapter.”

First day of high school: Arshia Purohit Singh, 13

At first glance, Arshia seems like a typical Vancouver teenager. She likes sushi and swimming, music by Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Carpenter and books from the popular ‘Powerless’ YA series by Lauren Roberts.

But, if you spend just a minute talking to her, it’s clear that she’s no ordinary kid. Arshia was the valedictorian at her elementary school and runs her own small business online. She organizes fundraisers for the local children’s hospital and intends to be a lawyer one day – after graduating from Harvard Law School, of course.

She’s made the difficult decision to attend a different high school (which, in her Vancouver school district, is grades eight through 12) than all of her friends. She’s opting instead for a school with an International Baccalaureate program, which she considers more academically challenging.

What she’s most excited about

Arshia is looking forward to the idea of a challenge. Of more intense classes, and the chance to join the basketball team, the debate club and the students’ council.

“I’m definitely feeling a little bit nervous, but I’m also just really excited for all the new opportunities and all the new people I’m going to meet.”

She’s excited, too, about having a bit more freedom.

“In elementary school, it’s a lot more structured. We were kind of taken to every class, things like that. But in high school, they’ll tell us to go to our different classes, and then it’s just entirely up to us.”

How the family is preparing

The family is big on organization and building good habits. Ever since they were little, Arshia’s mom Sophia Purohit Singh has taught her two kids how to balance their own schedules and make sure they’re staying on top of deadlines.

“The habits were developed way early on, where it was always about keeping yourself busy and organized. Having your own calendar and managing it,” said Sophia. “So there’s not time left over to go on their phone for hours.”

They’ve doubled down on this routine over the summer. Entirely of her own accord, Arshia has been working ahead on her math workbooks (“just to be ready for next year”), and has been talking through with her parents how she might juggle her many new assignments and responsibilities in high school.

Back-to-school rituals

Every year, the family spends at least one day combing through the house to see what school supplies they’ve left lying around.

“It’s stuff we’ve collected over the year, and figuring out how to reuse them,” said Arshia. And then they’ll go back-to-school shopping for everything else.

Back-to-school outfits, said Arshia, “are definitely still a thing.” For her first day of high school, she’s already chosen her outfit: A new skirt she bought recently, with a t-shirt and hoodie, in case it gets cold. “I’m just going to wear what makes me comfortable,” she said.

She knows this is an important moment for her.

“This is kind of a big point of change in my life,” she said. “In a few years, my life is going to change a lot.”

First day of teaching: Nick Erickson, 41

Over the past few decades, Mr. Erickson has been a sawmill worker, a concrete labourer and a logging truck driver. But this week, the father of five from Lake Babine Nation in B.C. will take on a new career: A high-school teacher.

He’s a new graduate of NITEP, the Indigenous Teacher Education Program at the University of British Columbia, where, after going back to school in his late 30s, he recently graduated with a bachelor’s degree in education. He’ll be teaching a small group of Indigenous students, grades eight through 12, at a high school in his community.

“My goal is to give Indigenous students the confidence to go on to bigger and better things. To show them they’re capable,” he said.

“If I can do it at the age of 41, there’s no reason why anybody else can’t do it.”

What he’s excited about

Mr. Erickson can only recall ever having one Indigenous teacher when he was growing up. “It was the only classroom where I felt like I wasn’t really being judged,” he said. Now, he’s excited to be that positive role model for his own students.

“I have a lot of life stories. I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life that I can relate with the kids.”

Plus, as the father of five daughters (who range in age from eight to 25), he has ample confidence and experience in dealing with teenagers.

As a teacher, he said, he won’t be “Mr. Erickson.” Just “Nick.”

“I want to help them and teach them,” he said. “But I also want to learn beside them.”

One more bonus? His wife, Marsha Erickson, completed the NITEP program alongside him. They’ll be sharing this experience as first-time teachers in the community together.

What he’s worried about

“I’m kind of nervous. I’m responsible for these kids. But if I’m my genuine, authentic self, I’m not going to have any problems. I’m just going to be the best person I can in front of them.”

Back-to-school rituals

Each year, the couple has taken back-to-school pictures of their five kids on the deck in front of the house. This year they’ll take photos again – only this time, with the addition of mom and dad.