Back in the day, “ordering in” meant flipping through a delightful but limited list of delivery-ready restaurants in my small town; our family’s go-to for takeout was usually pepperoni pizza from Petrini’s, which we still love (and occasionally call in for by phone). Then came the Internet, and, with it, an even broader range of restaurant access, with platforms such as World Wide Waiter (now known simply as Waiter.com) which launched in 1995, allowing users to browse multiple restaurant options on a single website. The rest is history, with the advent of smartphone apps spawning a whole parade of food-delivery companies such as UberEats, Caviar, and Deliveroo, and with them, a seemingly limitless number of sources for on-demand, straight-to-you dining. In many ways, Goldbelly, the internet’s most robust digital food hall with more than 900 vendors that ship nationwide, many with shipping in as little as two days, feels like the summit of Takeout Mountain. Now, even a restaurant across the country can bring you its world-famous soup or sandwich or cake through a simple online order. And sometimes, it feels pretty cool to take a look around at the most eclectic, unique items it has to offer.
Goldbelly is where you can find everything from TikTok-viral foods to specialty items from small, family-run restaurants looking to widen their reach. On the menu: Guy Fieri’s Trash Can Nachos; tequila-infused margarita jelly cakes; and even a bucket of brain-bending fried chicken-shaped ice cream — there’s no lack of imagination (or flights of personality-forward doughnuts) on the platform. I usually look to Goldbelly when a far-flung friend needs a birthday gift (Ina Garten’s cult-fave coconut cupcakes do the trick) or when someone in my family is under the weather (the miracle cure? borscht and perogies from NYC’s Vesekla). But aside from the this-is-exactly-what-I-was-looking-for element, Goldbelly is also a smorgasbord of unique and viral foods that enchant, entice, and sometimes appear to defy physics (see: this DIY raindrop cake). Culturally, we have also entered what Eater correspondent Jaya Saxena calls the “LOLfood era,” a time in which cartoonish hot dog towers and giant Goldfish-shaped crackers make the biggest statements at the dinner table and on social media — and many of those foods can ship to your door this very week, should the desire, need, or occasion strike.
What does this mean for you and me, the casual Goldbelly shopper? Well, a whole lot of kaleidoscopic jelly cakes and chocolate salami. If you’re looking for a statement-making centerpiece for your next potluck, dinner party, or random Tuesday, here are the craziest foods to be found on Goldbelly.
Ever wanted a cake that’s translucent, elaborate, and filled with suspended treasures? This strawberry daiquiri-flavored jelly dream from Solid Wiggles, the fancy-Jell-O-shot dream team in Brooklyn, New York, is almost too beautiful to eat — but if you want to, it’s made with lime, strawberry, and overproof rum.
This trompe l’oeil ramen ice cream
Made by James Beard finalist pastry chef Cynthia Wong, this “ramen” is actually a bittersweet chocolate bowl filled with miso-vanilla ice cream “broth” and accented with “ramen toppings” made of sesame cookie crumble, yuzu-coconut ice cream, and white chocolate (yep, those “green onions” and “fish cakes” are actually chocolate). One “bowl” actually serves six to eight guests who are looking for a trippy dessert experience. Of course it’s inspired by a video game.
Guy Fieri’s iconic Trash Can Nachos
One man’s trash is another person’s Flavortown fantasy — literally, since this dish is served in a cheeky “trash” format. Fieri’s iconic, perhaps even world-famous Trash Can Nachos are a symphony of smoked barbecue brisket, Cheddar cheese, black beans, pickled red onions, and other bomb-dot-com ingredients. For an extra $20, you can even tack on a “caliente margarita mix for 6.”
A bucket of ice cream that looks like fried chicken
Another mindf*ck from Cynthia Wong, this bucket of “fried chicken” is actually made of waffle ice cream in a white-chocolate-cornflake coating, all surrounding a chocolate-covered cookie “bone.” My brain can’t quite process what it would be like to bite into one of these drumsticks.
Peak LOLFood = a 7-pound burger
Finally, a Von Trapp Family-size cheeseburger. This mega burger comes from New Jersey’s Clinton Station Diner, and it contains a seven-pound patty (notably made from a signature blend of sirloin, ribeye, and skirt steak). The bun alone is also seven pounds, and let’s not forget the five pounds of American cheese and generous servings of tomato, lettuce, and onion.
For those who prefer their spaghetti in doughnut form
Goldbelly explains that this savory doughnut, which is made entirely of pasta carbonara, was “conceived by architect Luigi Fiorentino as a cross between the traditional Neapolitan ‘spaghetti pie’ and the classic American doughnut,” and first introduced to the world at Brooklyn’s famous Smorgasburg market in 2017. The pasta water has been hot ever since.
A Bug’s Life fans, congratulations
Remember those jellyfish-like raindrop cakes that took over Instagram circa 2017?… There is now a DIY raindrop cake that appears to emulate one of the enticing dew drops from the GOATed Pixar movie about union power ants fighting grasshoppers.
Is it cereal, or is it cake?
For those who still haven’t moved on from the “is it cake, or is it ___?” trend, behold a DIY cake cereal bowl kit that even comes with a video tutorial so you can bring this extra-trippy dessert to your next potluck.
This sky-high caramel pecan pie is an Oprah-favorite…
… And it’s a very tall pie filled with a whopping 18 Golden Delicious apples. Move over, Tower of Babel.
The Jumbo Bagel is my Eucharist
O’Bagel has been a beloved, family-run New Jersey bagel spot since the 1990s, and its larger-than-life bagel can feed a 20-person crowd.
(You know who you are —me!) This shortbread has a chocolate-caramel coating covered in edible gold, so if you’re planning a Marie Antoinette-esque spread, take note.
This sorbet served in a watermelon wedge
Cute summer dessert alert: These sorbet-filled watermelon slices are refreshing and whimsical. Plus, you can store them in the freezer for up to 3 months.
Well done. Now all you need is the Shrek panini press.
