The fun of not one but two redemption stories. Die Harsh: The Christmas Musical at the Orange Hub, a review, Theater News

By Liz Nicholls,

Nothing says Christmas like a villain redemption story, I think we can all agree. Die Harsh: The Christmas Musical, Grindstone Theatre’s very funny contribution to seasonal cheer, has two.

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And, in this original creation by the Grindstone team of Byron Martin and Simon Abbott (Hot Boy Summer), the two narrative strands are wrapped around each other, in a double spiral that’s bonkers, yup, but will make you laugh out loud with the ingenious way it works.  After a list of warnings (loud noises, fog, violence, “several words in German”) it occurs to you that Die Harsh is actually parodying Die Hard and A Christmas Carol together. At the same time.

So, a quintessential action thriller and the quintessential Dickens ghost story: together at last. And in the kind of detail that makes cognoscenti and ultra-nerds, of both types, laugh. Not only that, Die Harsh is a musical — and one that exudes a playfully irreverent knowledge of musical theatre, crammed with allusions to Sweeney Todd, Les Miz, Annie, The Rocky Horror Show … not to mention assorted pop culture styles, including rap. Who would think of doing this?

Die Harsh, which started three Christmases ago in Grindstone’s tiny comedy theatre and played the Varscona last December, has moved to the big house, the 350-seat Orange Hub mainstage. And though tarted up a bit for a big stage that’s reportedly as wide as the Jube’s, it hasn’t lost a certain sassy low-budget ingenuity that’s built into its comic charm.

Evan Dowling, David Findlay, Mhairi Berg in Die Harsh The Christmas Musical, Grindstone Theatre. Photo by Adam Goudreau

Camille Paris’s multi-level set is dominated by a centerstage elevator. That’s how Christmas ghosts arrive in L.A. skyscrapers (expect the first when the elevator goes ding). The live three-piece band, led by composer Abbott (a formidable pianist) on keyboards, is perched up top. And when the NYPD cop John McWayne (Evan Dowling), seeking out his estranged wife, Holly (Mhairi Berg), hides in Origami Tower during the corporate Christmas party, he appears in a tin vent. Scott Peters’s lighting, a driver of the thriller action, is visual comedy in itself.

When Hans Schmuber (David Findlay), the leader of an international gang of German terrorists  — they take hostages on Christmas Eve; he’s that bad — goes on a tour of his current evil-ness with the rapping Ghost of Christmas Present (Hal Wesley Rogers), it’s in a cardboard limo. The Abbott song Let’s Take A Ride is a highlight.

As for the Dickens, if you don’t know even the gist of the Christmas Carol story — the flinty Ebenezer, the ghostly interventionists, Tiny Tim, etc. — well, I just don’t know what to do with you. Are there no holiday productions? Are there no night schools? If you do — and I know you do — there’s the fun of recognizing the young Schmuber (Rain Matkin), the hardening of his moral arteries, the loss of his one true love, the origins of his hatred of Christmas.

Abbott has devised a score that ripples with references, from the opening number, a perfect James Bond pastiche with a German accent (“he just von’t … die harsh”). There are power ballads at the points in the musical where power ballads always happen in musicals. McWayne and Holly have one, in an amusing near-reconciliation scene. There are jaunty patter songs, like the Cole Porter-esque Another Year Another Heist by Schmuber’s much put-upon henchmen, who definitely don’t get overtime on stats. Schmuber himself leads a big Dr. Frank-N-Furter-esque song-and-dance number, “ich bin ein sexy German terrorist.” I found the sound a bit too cranked and shouty to hear the lyrics (by Martin and Abbott) at times — too bad since they’re pretty funny.

Lanky Findlay, an expert dancer and singer, turns in an ace performance. The rest of Sarah Dowling’s very busy go-for-the-gusto six-member cast change characters, costume pieces, and a serial assortment of kooky wigs (designer: Beverly Destroys) in a non-stop scramble. The pace is lunatic.

Mhairi Berg and Evan Dowling in Die Harsh The Christmas Musical, Grindstone Theatre. Photo by Adam Goudreau

Along with the rest of the audience, I loved the big ballet number between McWayne and Holly, with the latter en pointe as a dying swan. Dowling, who has unerring deadpan comic timing as McWayne (along with an accent that’s a cross between New Yaaahk and Elmer Fudd), is consistently funny. And Berg, whose command of every sort of musical comedy trope is on the money, brings down the house when she joins Mark Sinongco in an FBI tap number (you know, as per FBI protocol). Tap makes every show more festive (holiday axiom #10).

“It doesn’t weally feel like Kwismuss,” laments McWayne by way of understatement as bodies pile up and the thriller plot advances. And then, by golly, it weally does

REVIEW

Die Harsh: A Christmas Musical

Theatre: Grindstone

Created by: Byron Martin and Simon Abbott

Directed by: Sarah Dowling

Starring: David Findlay, Evan Dowling, Mhairi Berg, Hal Wesley Rogers, Mark Sinongco, Rain Matkin

Where: Orange Hub, 10045 156 St.

Running: through Dec. 29

Tickets: grindstonetheatre.ca