/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25378905/STK088_SPOTIFY_CVIRGINIA_A.jpg "Google’s connecting Spotify to its Gemini AI assistant")
I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been in the audience at a Toronto theatre production and witnessed a bona fide fart joke. This is the most direct way to communicate with you, beloved theatre-goers, that the new play The Bidding War, on now at Crow’s Theatre, is a farce, a slapstick comedy of the highest order. Sure, there are deeper truths and social commentary at work, as there is with most good, for example, Monty Python films. But, make no mistake, this new production puts the laughs ahead of everything else, and, to be honest, I couldn’t be happier.
It’s not that I don’t think real estate can handle a big stage production. There is history. It can happen. But, the real estate market in Toronto is blah right now. It doesn’t have that same buzz of pre-pandemic Toronto when potential homebuyers were ready to go to any and all lengths to secure precious housing. Likely, back when Michael Ross Albert penned the play. It’s almost nostalgic at this point, so if real estate and the industry was more central to the success or failure of this production, there might be trouble. Here, it is more a vehicle for social commentary and oh so many laughs.
The premise of the play is simple. A house is for sale, one of those Toronto real estate unicorns. A well-loved detached family home with an actual garden and a future of increasing value. As a result of a bit of a real estate snafu/con game, potential buyers have just 12 hours to outbid each other to purchase said unicorn. Ross Albert, displaying a wonderfully comedic eye for characters, creates the perfect scenario for all kinds of zany antics, and peppers with play with many familiar Toronto stereotypes from aging baby boomers and out-of-work actors to young couples of mixed morals and content creating OnlyFans gen Zs.
Directed by Paolo Santalucia, The Bidding War combines dark comedy with biting social commentary, making it a timely exploration of the extremes people will go to in the battle for a place to call home.
The cast is an interesting collection of Toronto talent anchored by the beloved Fiona Reid (yes, the boomer), who you’ve definitely seen from that thing, and Aurora Browne of Baroness Von Sketch Show acclaim. The plot revolves around Sam, the real estate agent played wonderfully by the talented Peter Fernandes. It’s his first listing, but the underhanded world of real estate seems to come naturally to him. After all, he was apparently selling Adderall to high school kids just a few years ago.
Drawing comparisons to Glengarry Glen Ross and Clue, the play invites audiences to witness a real estate nightmare where everything, from personalities to morals, is up for sale.
The whole storyline is a bit of a whirling dervish of Toronto-isms. The action is fast, the barbs are furious. One person is impaled on a giant insect sculpture while a pregnant woman releases gas in such a funny way that can only be understood by people who have been there or done that.
If you’re looking for a Mamet-style exploring of the underbelly of real estate, keep looking. But here’s the thing: this play is fun. So much fun. It’s dark outside, it’s wet, and the world feels like it’s falling apart—both literally and figuratively. In times like these, any chance to pause, laugh at ourselves, and find humour in the madness of it all is time well-spent. If this hits home, then be sure to check out The Bidding War, running at Crow’s Theatre until Dec. 15.
