Phone-free spaces allow families to fully engage with each other without digital distractions.Pressmaster/iStockPhoto / Getty Images
When psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembke, author of Dopamine Nation, goes on vacation, she doesn’t just pack lighter – she disconnects entirely. No phones or tablets. No scrolling on social media. Her research on addiction and dopamine suggests that constant digital stimulation erodes our ability to be present. So she and her family remove the temptation altogether whenever they go on vacation.
On a trip to Yosemite Valley last winter with her now-adult kids, Lembke noticed a “distinct difference in the quality of the presence of all of us,” from the moment they started driving – simply because no one had their phone. For three days, they played board games, lingered over meals, and walked under the stars.
Phone-free spaces allow families to fully engage with each other without digital distractions. Vacations, which pull us out of daily routines, are ideal for this. As Lembke told an interviewer, “When the ability to choose is removed, it changes the state of craving.” Instead of reaching for our phones when struck by a desire to connect with others, we turn to the people who are physically around us – and benefit from more meaningful, memorable interactions.
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Smartphones have made travel more convenient; it’s hard to imagine navigating an airport without one these days.
But overreliance can undermine many of the qualities that make travel valuable. You never truly leave home when you remain tethered to everyone you know, with translation apps, tracking apps, live maps and digital currencies pulsating in your pocket. The once-transformative experience of relocating to a new place has its edge taken off. Any discomfort is mediated and softened by the phone’s presence.
Phones risk pulling our attention away from what’s happening in front of us. We miss serendipitous moments when we’re busy scrolling through social media, instead of making eye contact with strangers and striking up conversations. We can develop a false sense of security. We succumb to the homogenization of taste when we allow search engines and their army of reviewers (real and fake) to tell us where to go, stay and eat.
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Historian Christine Rosen, who investigates cultural shifts that occur when we embrace technology, writes in her book, The Extinction of Experience, that we have a “mistrust of undatabased experiences and an anxiety about things that haven’t been recommended, rated, or ranked by others.” We prefer the aggregate “wisdom” of millions of strangers over asking a local for their favourite spot.
If you are taking a trip with your family, consider making it phone-free – or at least severely limiting access to tech – to promote a sense of presence and connection. Encourage your kids to leave their devices at home. They will protest, of course. Give them a digital or Polaroid camera. Pack some good books. There will be an adjustment period, but it will be temporary – you’ll get through it, and the rewards will be lasting.
Parents should model presence. If you can’t leave your phone behind, turn it off or activate airplane mode. Stash it in the glove box or a suitcase, so it’s there for emergencies only. For road trips, use a physical map that the whole family can study; it offers geographical perspective that no online map can rival.
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When travelling internationally, I have at times opted not to buy a foreign data plan, which means I only have limited Wi-Fi access. This keeps me at the same level of connectivity as my phoneless children, fully present for whatever is happening in each moment. I could activate roaming in a pinch, but incurring a hefty fee from my carrier is a deterrent.
I love the idea of anti-algorithmic travel, of allowing a vacation to take shape fuelled by organic curiosity.
One couple told me about taking “left-right tours.” They drive for several hours, then ask their kids which direction they should turn. They keep doing this until they find themselves in unusual, interesting places. They stop at tourist information centres, look at maps and brochures, and read signs for roadside attractions. “It raises interesting questions at the border,” they said.
A “left-right tour” is the antithesis of a GPS-driven journey, which prioritizes the most efficient route. Instead, it’s about observing the landscape and letting raw inquisitiveness guide you, which is the essence of travel.
A phone-free vacation might be more feasible than you think – and could be the most memorable trip your family has ever taken.
