As someone who moved from Toronto to a small town in Ontario, I can say firsthand that there are a bunch of things I didn’t understand at first. I knew the change would be pretty drastic, but some of the lessons I learned along the way were a bit unexpected. I had entered a whole new world, and felt split by the new life I was building and the old one I was attempting to preserve.
It was hard to explain my newfound existence to friends back in the city, and even more difficult to describe what it was like growing up in Toronto to people who, for the most part, didn’t like cities all that much.
So, Torontonians, here are a few things you may not get about small-town Ontario living, from a fellow city slicker who packed up and moved to a tiny town once upon a time.
There is absolutely zero anonymity
A part of what appealed to me most about leaving Toronto was the idea of being somewhere that felt a little less crowded. As social as I can be, I definitely enjoy my solitude. So I figured by living somewhere with a teeny-tiny population and a house a bit out of the way, I’d get a chance to soak up the alone time I often craved. But turns out, being surrounded by fewer people doesn’t necessarily mean more alone time. In fact, the opposite was true, at least for me.
In Toronto, even if I was wandering along a crowded street, no one would really look twice at me. I can recall many hungover dog walks looking like a total slob, but not having a care in the world because even if someone walking by was judging, I’d probably never see them again.
In a small town, the situation is different. You probably know, or will get to know, most people you cross paths with — potentially even right there and then during said hungover dog walk you’d hoped would be taken privately.
Dog walks, trips to the grocery store, even checking your mailbox can turn into a surprise social interaction. And if someone sees you out and about, what you do and where you go can become public knowledge rather quickly.
Don’t get me wrong, the sense of community the lack of anonymity evoked was lovely most of the time… but I guess what I’m trying to say is, if the idea of living in a small town appeals to your introverted side, don’t be fooled. It can be just as social, if not more so, than living in a city.
The love-hate relationship locals have with the town is palpable
When I lived in a small town, I stumbled across an interesting dynamic when it came to the relationship locals had with the town itself.
On the one hand, there was this strong, beaming pride that people had – especially those whose family had lived there for generations.
But on the other hand, a lot of those same people loved to talk about how awful the place could be. I suppose I felt similarly in Toronto — loving many aspects of it while disliking other parts. But what I didn’t understand (or anticipate) is how much louder the duality of these contradictory feelings would feel in a small town.
You’re probably going to date someone’s ex (and it’s gonna be totally awks)
The thing with moving to a small town is that, if you’re single, you’re entering into a tiny dating pool, where just about everyone has already met, dated, and broken up. There are only so many people in your age group, and many of them went to the same schools, same parties, and dated within the same overlapping social circles. Eventually, you’ll probably discover that the person you are seeing previously dated your coworker, your neighbour, or the person cutting your hair.
Of course, this all makes sense, being somewhere that is smaller. But it also means that romantic history is pretty much never private and almost never simple, which is not something I fully had my head wrapped around at first. You may walk into a bar and realize that several people in the room already know things about your new relationship that you have not yet disclosed to anyone yourself.
The good news is that small towns can make people surprisingly mature about these situations. The bad news is that sometimes they don’t.
A lot of people from small towns in Ontario don’t like Toronto
I think sometimes people who live in Toronto assume that everyone else in Ontario is at least a little fascinated by the big city life. That’s what I thought, at least. What I didn’t fully understand is that, in reality, many people from small towns actively avoid it.
They love to diss Toronto’s traffic, the prices, crowds, and the fact that driving a few kilometres can somehow take an hour. Which, honestly, is fair, and are a few of the downsides that made me want to leave myself.
Toronto may see itself as the centre of Ontario (ahem, Canada), but plenty of small-town residents are perfectly happy to visit once every few years for a concert, if ever at all.
Locals have a totally different skillset than what you’re used to
One of my favourite things about living in a small town was meeting people with totally different hobbies and skills from my own. Of course you can meet people like that in a city, but since I’d grown up in Toronto, I often hung out with the same group of people I grew up with — so the whole learning from each other part of the relationships had kind of already happened.
I didn’t understand how many kinds of passionate gardeners, potters, arborists, and woodworkers I’d meet who would be beyond happy to share their knowledge. Thanks to how closely knit the community was, it was easy to talk to new people, discover their passions, and learn a thing or two along the way.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
