If you’ve ever seen How I Met Your Mother, then you know that everyone has their own definition of what makes someone a New Yorker. As someone who has spent their entire life in and around Toronto, I’ve come to realize that being a local has very little to do with whether or not you own a Blue Jays hat or if you’ve been to the top of the CN Tower.
Real Torontonians have their own set of quirks, habits, milestones, and opinions that outsiders could simply never understand.
If you’ve lived in this wacky city long enough, you can usually tell within one conversation whether someone is actually from the city or whether they moved here six months ago.
Here’s how to tell…
#1. Locals never call it “downtown”
One of the quickest ways to spot a non-local is if they ever refer to the city core as “downtown.”
Torontonians don’t think in terms of “downtown.” The city is only ever referred to in directions on the compass or neighbourhood kingdoms: the west end, the east end, the Annex, Leslieville, the Beaches, Liberty Village, Parkdale and about fifty others.
If someone says they’re heading downtown, your follow-up question is “from where?”
#2. Locals both love and hate the leafs
Nobody complains about the Leafs more than Torontonians. We spend the season criticizing the coaches, the trades, the plays and end it off by finally declaring that we are officially done with them, only to do it all over again next season.
That said, the second someone from another city has anything to say about the Leafs, a Torontonian is their biggest defender. We’re allowed to make fun of them, not you.
#3. No one drives in this city
If you tell a Toronto local you need to get from the east end to the west, their first instinct isn’t to grab the car keys.
A true Torontonian almost never considers taking out their car, unless they’re leaving the city entirely. Cottage trips? Absoltuely. Visiting your parents in Vaughan? Of course. Driving from Leslieville to Ossington on a Saturday night? Not a chance.
Real locals know that if you’re going to be sitting and waiting in a vehicle to get across this city, it’s going to be with 30 other strangers on public transit.
#4. They don’t even flinch at an $18 cocktail
Unfortunately, at some point every newly moved-in Torontonian goes through the five stages of grief when opening a cocktail menu.
First comes shock. Then denial. Then anger. Then bargaining. Eventually, acceptance. Once you reach stage 5, you officially belong. It’s one of the city’s hazing rituals.
After enough time in the city, seeing an $18 cocktail becomes normal.
#5. Meeting at Union Station requires at least three follow-up texts
“Meet me at Union” is a dead giveaway for an outsider. It’s obviously a logistical nightmare.
Every local knows that whether you’re leaving the city for a trip and starting at Union, or heading off for a night out and meeting in the middle at Union, or going to a concert that begins at the corner of Union — you must specify which entrance, which restaurant inside the food court, or at least which corner.
Union Station exists in its own dimension here in Toronto, and that’s just something you need to accept to be a true local.
#6. Every Torontonian has a favourite coffee shop they’d defend with their life
Ask a group of locals where to get a coffee, and I promise you, they will make it complicated. Each local has their own opinion; none of them are chains, and each will begin to argue and defend their shop to the death.
#7. A Costco or IKEA trip is a journey
For people who live in the downtown core, a trip to Costco or IKEA is more of an event than an errand. It requires reorganizing every extra space in your 600-square-foot apartment, planning and coordinating a car AND a license (a rare find in this city), and the determination to find a day that works for everyone’s schedule.
But the payoff is always worth it. This great journey to the sacred place is one that you will find yourself returning to when you’re low on spirits and toilet paper.
#8. They know how to do TIFF without tickets
Despite this city’s reputation for serious spending, true Torontonians know how to participate without spending a dollar.
Locals know that for city festivals such as these, half the fun is wandering Festival Street, enjoying the free programming in David Pecaut Square, and stalking the celebrities behind the scenes at every screening venue.
Somehow they know which hotels celebrities stay at, which restaurants to wait outside of, and which late-night bar to share a drink with an actor at.
For one week every year, everyone in the city becomes a cinephile.
#9. A Blue Jays game is never really about the baseball
I’m not saying Torontonians don’t love baseball; I’m just saying going to one of their games is way less about sports and way more about the experience, and the Rogers Centre knows this.
Every year, Torontonians alike band together and make their way to Rogers Centre to spend an afternoon or evening in the fresh Toronto air, sharing this game over a hot dog. Baseball lovers and baseball haters alike, at one game, having beers.
These games have become just as much about the social aspect as they are about the sport.
Being a Toronto local isn’t about knowing every street name or knowing the quickest TTC route to and from work. To become a true Toronto local, it’s something you can’t study for. It happens naturally over time as you learn to live in and love this city and adopt our very specific set of habits.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.
