31 Years Later, the Smartest ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ Character Still Doesn’t Get the Recognition They Deserve

Every once in a while, some fan artist draws a continuation or sequel to Calvin and Hobbes, which is frequently themed around the idea of an adult Calvin passing Hobbes on to his own child. One of the best is 2011’s Hobbes and Bacon by Tom Heyerman (Pants Are Overrated), which would be lost media by now if it hadn’t been rehosted on a WordPress blog almost 14 years ago.

Hobbes and Bacon is probably the best example of what’s become an oddly persistent trope in Calvin and Hobbes fan lore: Calvin growing up to marry Susie. It’s understandable how someone might have that reading. Susie is Calvin’s only consistent peer throughout the strip’s original run. If Calvin’s going to marry any canon character, she’s really the only option on the board. It’s simultaneously a strange choice, though, as the strip usually treats Susie and Calvin like oil and water.

There are exceptions, such as the Valentine’s Day arc from 1986, and that can be chalked up to the same early installment weirdness that gave us Calvin’s Uncle Max. Otherwise, Susie is in Calvin and Hobbes to serve as Calvin’s foil: well-adjusted vs. Calvin’s maladjusted, a good student vs. a scholastic misfit, order vs. chaos. While there are occasional hints that Calvin and Susie might have a crush on one another, it’s still difficult to believe they could ever stay in the same room long enough to have a civil conversation, let alone a kid.

Rival schoolchildren

Source: Bill Watterson

Like Calvin’s parents, Susie is primarily in Calvin and Hobbes in order to bounce off of Calvin. Unlike them, however, she’s almost never given any particular spotlight. The closest she comes to a solo arc throughout the strip may be in May of 1986 when she finds the missing Hobbes, who’d been dragged off by a stray dog.

As a result, most Calvin and Hobbes readers who’re looking for a good line from Susie in particular tend to cite the strip from Oct. 4, 1993, which found its way onto countless library bulletin boards across the world.

Source: Bill Watterson

“I love my school books,” Susie tells Calvin, as they wait for the school bus in the morning. “Just think! Pretty soon we’ll have read all of this!”

Calvin, naturally, isn’t interested, and has turned his own schoolbook into a flip cartoon of a T-rex driving the Batmobile. Nonplussed, Susie drops the punchline: “Sometimes I think books are the only friends worth having.”

One drawback of Susie’s lack of focus in Calvin and Hobbes is that one has to wonder how she picked up her study habits, and the strip has no answers for you there. Are both her parents college professors? There are grad students without half of Susie Derkins’ school chops.

Either way, there’s probably an article to be written about Susie Derkins as a study guide. As part of being Calvin’s direct opposite, she’s on the short list of best students in fiction despite only being six years old, and her stated attitude towards books is a go-to line for bibliophilic Gen-Xers worldwide.