Bordeaux Prison is not a place most Montrealers know well, unless they’ve served time there or have a direct connection to one of its nearly 1,500 inmates.
Officially called the Montreal Detention Centre, the Ahuntsic-area facility is the largest provincial prison in Quebec, housing men serving sentences of less than two years as well as those awaiting trial.
Last week, a Reddit post from a user facing charges asked: “From what I have gathered, it is a real horror there, and I’d like to try and avoid it. Does anyone have any firsthand accounts if worse comes to worst for me?”
While the post did not get into the specifics of the user’s crimes, the thread drew a flood of responses from people who claimed to have served stints inside Bordeaux — some describing it as rough, others as survivable if you learn the rules quickly.
Here are some of the most useful tips and tricks from people who have spent time on the inside.
These accounts are anonymous posts from Reddit and cannot be independently verified. They reflect personal experiences and opinions, not official information about the prison.
Be careful when you flush
Folks in prison live under a tight schedule that includes specific times for meals, recreation, and sleep.
Messing with any of those scheduled activities, even accidentally, could land you in hot water.
As one Reddit user put it: “DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER BED TIME. It wakes up everyone, and you will get beaten up in the morning if it’s recurring.”
Ouch.
Mention diet restrictions
The food at Bordeaux is exactly what you’d expect from a prison — bland and unappetizing. In fact, some users claimed it was so bad that people developed medical issues from eating it.
One commenter seemed to find a workaround, though, suggesting newcomers “try to ask for a special diet, vegetable if you can.”
Don’t touch what isn’t yours
While it seems fairly obvious, one of the most repeated pieces of advice was to leave other people’s stuff alone — even the milk cartons handed out at breakfast.
“Mind your business and don’t touch anybody’s food or containers that aren’t yours,” one user warned. “One morning, I almost had a black belt beat the crap out of me cause I attempted to store milk containers […] while their owners were sleeping.”
Another commenter recalled: “Was there for some dumb sh*t so I didn’t get f***ed with, but one thing I remember is some guy getting beat up in his cell … because he stole somebody’s [little] milk you get with breakfast.”
Choose your wing wisely
Bordeaux is composed of multiple wings varying in size, but not all are equal in terms of safety.
According to one former prisoner, “the worst wings are the smallest ones, with 20 people or less. That’s where the most f***ed up sh*t will happen and will most likely stay between the four walls of a cell.”
Another suggested newcomers “avoid the G sector at Bordeaux [because] it’s mostly gang-affiliated,” adding that “you do have a say in which unit you end up [in].”
Don’t talk to guards in private
Prison is all about maintaining relationships, and if someone suspects you of cozying up to the wrong side, you could pay a price.
One ex-inmate offered the following piece of advice: “DO NOT EVER EVER talk to a guard unless there’s another prisoner with you to hear what you say, because it will be assumed you are snitching and people are very paranoid there.”
Keep a low profile
Several users said the key to surviving Bordeaux is to avoid standing out. Don’t borrow, don’t show off, and definitely don’t get flashy with fancy clothes or expensive shoes.
“DO NOT BORROW. What I did was first day I showed my paper to the wing ‘leader’ and I was cleared and didn’t have a hard time, but I saw guys get destroyed,” one commenter explained. “Don’t try to be friends with anybody. Most likely, you will hang out with your cellmates and your neighbours, learn to play cards, and hope for a smooth shift.”
The same user added that fellow prisoners “will prey on people with a lot of outside support, and it can put a target on your face.” So, if you are expecting visits during your sentence, it might be best to space them out accordingly.
Don’t touch the remote
One user, who admitted to serving a sentence in another Quebec prison, warned against making enemies over TV choices: “If The Simpsons is playing and a bunch of people watch [it], don’t ask for the remote, saying ‘this show is for kids.’ Trust me on that one.”
Don’t associate with gangs
Another common warning was about avoiding gang associations. One commenteer shared advice passed down from their father, who served a stint in Bordeaux: “Don’t associate with gangs. ‘Don’t associate’ means don’t have anything to do with them or you’ll get roped in for the most stupid and petty sh*t possible, and suddenly you have to fight a guy you barely know.”
Watch this movie before your sentence starts
One commenter, who claimed to have served time in multiple Bordeaux wings, actually dropped a movie recommendation. They pointed to Get Hard, the 2015 comedy where Will Ferrell hires Kevin Hart to teach him how to survive prison life.
“I have done time at Bordeaux, aka the beach, A, C, E and G wing. I recommend you watch the movie ‘Get Hard’ and try some of the lessons in the movie to ready yourself,” the user wrote, later adding that “Bordeaux ain’t bad if you just do your time and don’t break the rules of the wing set forth by the committee.”
Of course, that advice probably belongs in the tongue-in-cheek category. But hey, there might be a few useful tips sprinkled in between the jokes.
Keep a routine
A few comments mentioned that new inmates should be quick to fall into a prison routine.
“The faster you hop into your routine and disconnect from the outside, the faster your time will fly.”
Another tip: staying in shape is a way to avoid being seen as an easy target. “Do exercise and get in shape. Even if you get in slim like I was… just the fact that people see you taking care of [yourself] in that sense, will make them [not] see you as easy prey.”
Don’t slam your cell door
A few comments mentioned not slamming your cell door when it’s time to head to the cafeteria for breakfast. Doing so will apparently cost you a certain number of pushups as punishment.
While the advice ranged from the obvious to the hyper-specific, the thread made one thing clear: Bordeaux isn’t a place to push your luck.
Even non-inmates weighed in, like a paramedic who noted that they’re often called there “for people who ‘just fell down some stairs.'” The silver lining? As they put it: “The good news is it’s five minutes away from a trauma center.”
At the end of the day, the best tip of all might be avoiding the kind of trouble that could land you there in the first place.
