I grew up in Canada, but have spent a lot of my adult life living in the US, and during that time, I have been on a date or two. Enough to say with confidence that the dating experience in these two countries is very, very different.
From the size of the dating pool to the energy men bring to a first date, Canada and the US are not operating on the same romantic wavelength.
As a Canadian who’s spent years living in America and exchanging horror stories via FaceTime while listening to my Vancouverites and Torontonians scream about the “bad dating scene” back home, I’m here to myth-bust whether they’re right, or whether it’s all one giant gaslight.
Canadians set their apps to LA (or NYC) for a reason
Right out the gate, the US dating scene comes swinging. The dating pool in the US is just way bigger.
California alone has almost as many people as all of Canada. Then add the rest of the country. There are more people, more subcultures, more options. You have your pick of the litter: creatives, professionals, transplants, weirdos, hot messes, and men who are still talking to their ex-GF of seven years and “don’t know what they want” — they do. It’s her. Cut him loose.
In Canada, dating feels repetitive fast. Especially in cities like Vancouver, where the app scene can feel like the same 14 emotionally unavailable men in rotation. Spoiler alert: they are all friends. 5/10 chance the crew is sporting lame facial hair that’s seven years behind the times. Seriously guys. Get it together. Your mullet is wack. Your handlebar mustache is giving walking down the aisle to Mumford & Sons at our barnyard wedding with mason-jar centrepieces.
And it’s even worse if you’re a local. Because then you’re probably just dating run-through people from your extended high school orbit. Except you’re 20-to-30-something and you’re going to group dinners with the same people who were once crammed onto a party bus doing laps around Prospect Point for prom photos.
Absolutely brutal. Absolutely thinking of one person in particular.
American men plan better dates
I don’t know if it’s just because the US is a theatrical country, but in my experience, the dates have tracked better romance-wise.
Maybe it’s because the nightlife scene — at least in the major cities — is better, so there is more to choose from. But whatever the reason, I’ve found that American men are more likely to plan a date with an arc. Dinner, then a comedy show (should all go well). They have second and third locations on lock.
It’s like, even if it doesn’t work out, don’t make me wish I’d stayed home! Some of my favourite dates did not score a second. But we still had a great time, and you know why? Because we weren’t doing an activity in broad daylight that required me to wear Lululemons.
Do I like the seawall? No. But even if I did! If I’m going for a coffee and a lap, it better be because we’re in the phase of the relationship where you’ve solidly built out your collection of photos of me looking ugly while I’m sleeping (hot take: if he doesn’t do this, he’s not in love with you).
Canadian guys are a bit too bro-ey.
This is one thing I’ve definitely noticed — and I may blame it on the hockey culture.
Canadian guys can have a more bro-y energy, especially in groups. There’s often this subtle “my boys come first” vibe that can make dating feel a bit siloed, like you’re kept on the periphery of their real life instead of actually being brought into it.
It’s not always aggressive or obnoxious — sometimes it’s maybe even their idea of romance! Like, yeah, babe, I can only pretend to be invested in the hat-trick you didn’t score on your beer league team so many times. Still, it can feel a bit emotionally immature.
Americans bring you into the inner circle sooner
Jumping off from that last point, American men tend to bring you into their actual lives a lot sooner. I think it’s got to do with the country’s “time is money” mindset. You meet the friends way faster, and you know right away if it went well or not.
Sure, it’s more audition-based, but I prefer that to his mom having no idea who I am for the next 18 months.
Canadian men are a bit more real
I’ll give it to the Canadian men; they definitely have that Northern comfort on lock. Things can feel more genuine once the whatever-ship deepens. Less pitchy, less performative, less likely he is trying to spearhead a startup.
They may not come out of the gate swinging, but as Rocky Balboa once said, they can go the distance.
Listen — I prefer a true random
I’ve maybe gone on one date in Canada with a complete random, who doesn’t know a single person I know. And while this may seem like a red flag to many — because flying blind like that is a bit freaky if you think about it too long — I prefer randoms.
In fact, have absolutely zero interest in dating a man with many mutuals. Why? Because I’d say the vast majority of the time, if I’ve met you before and there has never been a vibe, I don’t believe either of us now that there’s suddenly a vibe.
It’s like — OK, we’re approaching early 30s. We’re getting scared. Can we make something happen here? Probably. But we’ll both hate it. Probably secretly. We’ll say things like “he’s my person” or “she’s my best friend,” and everyone will know that’s code for “sworn enemies”.
The Final Verdict
If you’ve made it this far, you may think, “Alright, fine — America wins”. And if you’re a proud Canadian, you may find yourself typing in the comments section “F**k you” — but just you wait, my little keyboard warrior. Don’t count Canada out just yet.
Because, while yes, in terms of dating, the US wins – dating and actually being in a relationship are not the same thing.
While my dating experiences in the US have been far more fun, dynamic, and memorable, there’s one annoyingly important statistic I can’t ignore: of my four long-term relationships, three have been with Canadian men. 😉 🇨🇦
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Narcity Media.