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After months of slow-drip teasers, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is finally here. Illumination and Nintendo’s latest film collaboration is another reference-filled ode to Mario history that’s low on narrative substance but high on visual splendor. Audience scores are positive, it’s raking in tons of money, and the cast members have been charming their way through the press circuit as they share their dream Wario castings and pick their second favorite Luigis. For many, it’s a fountain of joy.
It’s also pissing a lot of people off. Well, more accurately, critics are pissing a lot of people off. Before the film opened to the public, a wave of not-so-flattering reviews tore it to shreds. While Polygon’s own Mike McWhertor was simply lukewarm on it, film critics at major publications like Variety and The New York Times tore into it for its nonsensical story and overabundance of hollow Easter eggs. In a rare zero-star review, The Wrap’s Kevin Maher called it a “supremely vacuous anti-movie.”
Just how bad are the reviews? It currently has an aggregate score of 35 on Metacritic — the exact same critical average as 1993’s notoriously disastrous Super Mario Bros. movie. Mamma mia!
The reception has kicked off a fresh round of heated debates in the usual social media arenas about criticism: Why are critics so out of touch with general audiences? It’s a discourse so ancient that I’m pretty sure you can find sentiments like that chiseled into Egyptian tombs. (At the very least, you can find it in any number of engagement-baiting Facebook threads complaining about IGN’s 6/10 review of Crimson Desert.) I’m not here to relitigate the value of a discipline that seeks to interrogate artistic craft and dissect how the media we thoughtlessly consume actually communicates with us. If you’re not interested in reviews, don’t read them.
What I will comment on, though, is a second thought-killer hovering around The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’s review cycle: What do you expect, it’s a kid’s movie! That refrain has been played like an Uno Reverse card over the past few days, with the movie’s most loyal soldiers suggesting that it’s silly to hold a goofy animated movie to a high critical standard. The suggestion is that a Mario movie aimed at children is going to be inherently juvenile, and reviewers are failing audiences by refusing to limbo down to its level. If kids (and adult Nintendo fans) are having a good time, the argument goes, it’s doing its job — character arcs be damned!
It’s a strange defense, one that both slaps The Super Mario Galaxy Movie with a backhanded compliment and devalues children’s media as a whole. Why shouldn’t we have standards for the media our kids engage with? Think about all the movies you watched as a kid, or the games you played. How many of those were formative experiences that shaped your life? Sesame Street taught me the value of community. Aladdin made me a braver, bolder child. And Mario games unlocked my imagination, showing me that the world is always bigger and more wonderful than one can imagine. Those are real life lessons.
So, why should we expect — or want — anything different from The Super Mario Galaxy Movie? A high critical standard shows respect for young viewers who are too often treated like little dummies that need to be distracted. Here’s an iPad, stop bugging mom! Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and they deserve media that doesn’t take the impact it can have on their brains for granted. That’s part of what makes Studio Ghibli’s work so special. Hayao Miyazaki’s films are colorful and filled with cute little guys, but they also want children to walk away with a spiritual appreciation of nature.
None of this is to say that you can’t love The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, or that you shouldn’t take your kids to it. Even if it’s devoid of substance, you can still have a nice time at the movie theater pointing out all the colorful Easter eggs. But be careful not to fall into the trap of believing that your kids have to settle for a mishmash of hollow references designed to sell Switches. Having a high critical bar can be an act of love.
Michael McWhertor gives his down-to-Earth take on the pretty but hollow sequel.
Shigeru Miyamoto shoots down your dreams in an interview alongside Chris Meledandri.
But if you want a tease of what is coming next, here’s what the movie tees up.
Plus this:
- Olympic medalist Taylor Fritz kicked my butt at Mario Tennis: Simone de Rochefort gets absolutely served by a real tennis star. Harrowing stuff!
- Inside the development of Nightholme, the first true ‘extraction horror’ game: Ford James travels to Lisbon to learn the story behind the horrifying Nightholme.
- Life Is Strange: Reunion is a new low for Life Is Strange: Aimee Hart takes issue with Life Is Strange: Reunion’s fandom-first storytelling.
- Magic’s new Quandrix Unlimited deck includes a ‘prepared’ spell that’s banned in Commander: Corey Plante exclusively reveals the full decklist for Magic’s latest precon.
- Super Mario Bros. players uncover the biggest glitch in the game’s 40-year history: This hour-long YouTube video about a wild glitch is actually the week’s best Mario movie.