Jack Black should play this Yakuza icon in a live-action adaptation

Jack Black has made it clear he’s got video-game aspirations far beyond Bowser. In the lead-up to the release of The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, the actor told ScreenRant that he’d love to take part in a live-action adaptation of Sega’s Yakuza series. While he might not be suited to the role of the tough-guy protagonist, Kazuma Kiryu, or his best frenemy, Goro Majima, a certain side character from the goofy crime series could be a perfect fit for the actor-comedian.

Patriarch Gondawara is a tough-looking yakuza with an unusual hobby. He makes an unforgettable entrance to the series in 2006’s Yakuza 2 (and its 2017 remake Yakuza Kiwami 2) during an optional side quest called “Be My Baby.” In it, Gondawara’s thugs block off Kamurocho’s Pink Street and force Kiryu into a brawl. Kiryu easily defeats the goons, and Gondawara offers to make up for the slight by treating our hero to “mind-blowing special service” from his favorite entertainment hotspot. Turns out, it’s a fetish service where men wear diapers while attractive women pamper them. Kiryu politely attempts to exit, offending Gondawara and leading to another fight. Kiryu clobbers the goons once more, then leaves.

Gondawara also makes an extended cameo in 2024’s Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth, helping protagonist Ichiban Kasuga create a snowstorm in Hawaii for a pair of elderly lovers, using the fluffy filling of a stack of disposable diapers to create the romantic scene. It’s an absurdly stupid yet heartwarming moment, one that’s uniquely suited to Black’s mix of authentic emotion and over-the-top delivery. Gondawara is Japanese in the games, but who cares? Black’s riff on Gondawara could be an international man of mystery, seeking the very best man-baby experiences the world has to offer.

“I’m going to throw my hat in that ring,” Black told ScreenRant of his desire to join gaming’s most bizarre crime drama. “I don’t know if there are any parts for me, like a portly American, but talk to me. Sega, give me a jingle.”

Black seems to have missed Amazon’s 2024 live-action riff on the game series, Like a Dragon: Yakuza, which largely ditches the games’ humor. The series came and went, and didn’t get a second season on the streamer. Back in 2007, director Takashi Miike of Audition and Ichi the Killer fame took a stab at adapting the Sega franchise, with the feature film Yakuza: Like a Dragon, which also met with a mixed reception. In other words, we’re still waiting for a definitive adaptation in the Yakuza series — maybe Jack Black has been the secret ingredient all along.